Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
