I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize