do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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