I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he thought i was a dude.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize