so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
