I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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