At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
