I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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