he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
