When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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