their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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