But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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