There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
