Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
