Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
