If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
