You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
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