I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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