i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
