I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize