If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize