I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
