we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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