Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
