you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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