Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
