You just made me feel so damn special
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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