Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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