Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
