I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
