i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
thus making me awesome and them whores
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
