I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
