Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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