i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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