I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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