And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
