doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You ate ashes out of my bong
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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