I feel great
I just peed on a car
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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