I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
