Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
