i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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