dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
