Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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