You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Don't make out with my wife yet
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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