you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize