my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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