No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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