why didn't you poke me back
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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