It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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