Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
