I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
