My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
