my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
