Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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