Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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