i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
