She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
