I wish I could punch you in the face.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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