It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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