: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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