omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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