i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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