What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize